[Note: Dude, in case you wondered what triggered this, I'd say I was thinking about the 6th of June and today being the 11th March. :) And you better appreciate this 'cos right now I'm *STANDING* in total darkness risking my ass editing this just so it'll be perfect for you to read 'kay. Not that I didn't know you would appreciate it already. Haha.]

Once in a while, when you’ve done enough good and Lady Fate smiles upon you, you get what you deserve.

It might be a platinum record for a new singer, a five book contract with one of the most famous publishing firms for an author, it might even be the winning combination to the 1 million dollar lottery that everybody’s having their eye on.

Some receive these “presents” only once in their lifetime, while others are more unfortunate and receive multiple “gifts” while they’re living.

I’d say I’d have received one of these treasures so far.

Mine was in the form of a friend, a very good friend who once brought out the best in me.

He put me on a pedestal and allowed me to enjoy the attention I got while I was up there. He never felt neglected while I was lost in my fantasies. He would never try to warn me too if I seemed to be playing too close to the edge, he trusted me to know when I should slow down and move back to the centre. He was my main source of attention and he was never afraid to let me know that he would be there, if anything bad should happen and I should lose my footing. I was free to fly and play, and he would be there to catch me should I have fallen.

I was a child, selfish, immature, bratty. He changed all that. I started to be more understanding and kind and caring. He gave what he could but only took as little as possible. He would having a hell of day and my only problem would be my parents were yelling at me because I didn’t study enough for them and I would be whining to him. He didn’t shut me out and pretend to be listening while I complained, he never tried to make me see how trivial my problems were compared to his, he only gave me all the attention I needed and he took my troubles away from me and made them his.

I guess I was spoilt by his treatment. He made me feel special, like I was one in a million. Whenever a girl starts to feel like a princess, she will begin to think that she really is one and starts making unreasonable demands. There were times when he was busy and didn’t give me the attention I was “supposed to” have, and instead of being considerate and trying to understand the reasons behind his absence, I started to feel unhappy and I wasn’t afraid to show it. I let him know how I felt exactly and I didn’t even bat an eyelid when he apologised profusely like it was actually his fault. I wanted to be the axis around which his life revolved, and I wouldn’t have it another way.

It was unfair, in a way. Although most of the time I tried making him happy and make him smile whenever he was down, I tried not to let myself get too close. I didn’t want our lives to be too intricately intertwined. I didn’t want to have to bear the pain when the tight, partially fused coils of our lives had to be carefully seperated. He, however, totally let down his guard and left himself in my hands.

He was always ready with a smile or an encouraging word when I needed one. He even blinded himself to all my faults and still told me I was perfect and having me believe every single word he said. I was invincible, I had a loyal supporter who would cheer me on and root for me no matter how much I tripped and fell or screwed up.

However, good things do not last. It could’ve lasted, if only I had slapped myself hard and woke up before things got too late. It was I who mercilessly severed the ties between us. We were both left bleeding, but it hit him harder.

We had both grown to depend on each other so much and there are times when I miss having him by my side, but what’s done is done, and I have completed my role as the fool who knows not what she just missed.

This is the 11th of March. It would’ve been exactly 3 years.

And I really want you to know that I DO appreciate everything you’ve done for me, every rubber duckie, every tube of gel *haha*, every ounce of energy, every literal statement, every time smoke gets in your eyes, everything.

Thanks for being just you. :)