It’s a rose! It’s a kuali!

I have put some things into perspective.

Temporarily.

You see, crap happens. And if it happens when you are unprepared for it, said crap will somehow be attracted uncharacteristically strongly to rotating fan.

And you get a crap mural. Literally.

I have digressed.

Anyway.

I think “aaaaaaaaaaanyway” (or any variation of it) and “HOWEVER…” are the two most overused words in my vocab.

Those two, and of course the infamous

“Sweat”

I have digressed again.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway.

I realise that I use “anyway” a lot because I seem to be very adept at digressing.

I think one of the worst kinds of crap that can happen to oneself is self-doubt. In any form. In fact, self-doubt was the main trigger that set my emo-ness off earlier on.

*gasps in mock horror*

Somehow, recent events have led me to thinking that I have personality disorders and that I am slightly… impaired, if you may. I was feeling rather down in the dumps because I thought that I was the singular most unlikeable person on the universe.

See what certain two-legged higher organisms can do to you?

So I was feeling like I was deeper and deeper into a bottomless pit, like I was spiraling down an abyss

Okay la. Not so drama la.

but suddenly a parachute opened and somehow some gust of wind came from nowhere and started propelling me upwards.

And then I realised that I was going backwards instead of forwards.

Not literally la.

A close friend of mine told me that my style of blogging had changed. He said I had become more cheerful [Mind you, he said it like it was a bad thing. -_-||]. And I said I knew. I then asked him if it was a bad thing.

-_-||

Anyway. I wasn’t being artificial or pseudo-perky. The reason I changed from being Little Miss Emo to Little Miss Sunshine was because I was actually happy.

For once.

I used to be all goth-y and liked no other colours but black. I didn’t like cutesy stuff and I was engrossed with morbidity and gloom and depression and whatnot. However, I still remember when I made the transition from the dark to the not-so-dark side. That was when I first used a bright yellow Paul Frank skin for this blog.

I have a long-necked animal to thank for that. ;)

And although I went through an emo phase relapse now and then, I was generally making progress because I started to see that the world isn’t all that bad, and although there will still be crappy people who specialise in painting crap murals all over my walls, everything is going to be okay in the end because I am surrounded by people who love me and believe in me!

*contented smile*

That was when I started to chill and let me be me!

This happened quite recently actually. Just after uni started. Haha.

I started to do things my way, and I cared less about what people would think and life was good.

I hope I didn’t annoy the shit out of anyone I’ve met so far though. XD

THE POINT IS.

I started doubting myself and caring about what people [actually a single person] thinks about me and so the emo dam [Empangan Emo! Hahah!] broke down and Michelle’s emo-ness flooded the whole world and the earth became Planet Emo and it monopolized the universal souvenir market with crappily photoshopped postcards.

My emo-ness may or may not have been evident in the past 2309489325 entries.

Then two superhero wannabes responded to my distress call

[I am Ratu Bunga! I will sting you to death with my rose thorns! The bees are with me!]

[ I am Wok Princess! Cower and tremble under the shadow of my scary looking Kuali cover and deadly spatula!]

Don’t look at me. They thought of the names themselves. I wanted to call Ratu Bunga SuperFlower Girl but she didn’t want it. Some people have no taste. *Shakes head*

Yes.Jo (Ratu Bunga) and Jing (Wok Princess) as they are known by normal humans are the ones who were responsible for my mental well-being today.

I think they’re not doing a good job because as everybody can see I am teetering dangerously on the border between sanity and delirium.

They have made me realise that no matter how badly I screw up/ embarrass myself [Ratu Bunga doesn't know how to spell 'embarrass'], there will still be people who will love me for who I am and that I shouldn’t feel bad for being the one and only me!

Ratu Bunga and Wok Princess: Thanks babes! Love ya loads! ;)

Give me an E! Give me an M! Give me an O!

What does it spell???

MICHELLE!!!!!

Heh.

Why am I emo?

1. I, a person who laughs in the face of people who get 班门弄斧, am actually 弄斧-ed. And the 班门 is a person whom I actually respect a lot [except I don't show it in fear of ending up being vulnerable when said person is around].

2. I keep pushing myself into dead corners with everything I say. This happens so frequently people around me are asking me “what happened this time?”. I feel like I’m wearing their patience thin.

3. I tend to overanalyse and blow things up. This is a very important cause of my frequent bouts of emo-ness.

I do not like blogging emo-ly. I sound very crappy when I blog emo-ly.

I’m sure the rest of the world’s population agrees.

Maybe they just think I sound crappy fullstop.

Anyway.

Since my posts are seperated from each other by boxes, I have no qualms in updating as frequently as I want to!

My previous blog skin made my entries of the same date stick together in quite a distasteful manner. It was rather irritating.

There is simply nothing to say. I have stared at my monitor for quite some time.

I don’t think I can express myself here.

*whisper*

They’re out to get me.

I know it.

Maybe I was sleeping.

I came across this written on my A level bio notes

#1
A glass splinter
Glistening
In my hand
My heart broke

Ah. I see.

It did?

I never noticed.