579: Come fly with me

There will be 16 (sixteen) pictures in this entry! I wanted to put more but I don’t think anybody would want to wait for all of them to load, so I’ll just put the remaining on Flickr lah ok *small voice* in case anybody’s interested…

ANYWAY let’s start lah. I very sleepy already :P

This is what I saw from my seat on the Thai AirAsia flight. I took another 934857384 pics and this turned out to be the best one :D

Basically we did nothing on the first day except sleep. HAHA. Oh, then we went to this huge Pavillion-like shopping mall called Siam Paragon and had dinner there – I didn’t really look around ‘cos it wasn’t that interesting lah (I not high-class shopper like Swee Leen :P)

Then the next day, we went to the floating market! :D

I can’t think of what to say about it because my brain is shutting down. It was very cool though, our driver was very geng because he had to maneuver the boat through narrow canals, there were like 3-5 “lanes” in the canal and boats were like bumping into each other and there were some tourists who were rather excited about the bumping of boats and they were squealing. *rolls eyes*

We then went to ride on elephants! I lazy to edit the pics so this pic of elephant poo will have to do. :P

When the elephant took its first few steps I thought the seat was going to fall off la -_- Apparently elephants live as long as humans, the elephant my mom and I sat on was 9 years old, and the elephant my sis and bro-in-law sat on was 25! No wonder it was moving so slowly HAHA.

Then we went to this temple beside the canal and walked around taking some pics.

Then we went to the Great Palace! (There should probably be more pics but whatever la)

I like the colours!

HAHAHAHAHAHA sorry couldn’t resist :P

I like this pic a lot so here it is again :D

We also went to see the reclining buddha!

At first I thought it was life-sized (how jakun of me) and when I saw it I was like “WHOA”. I counted, and it was 70 steps long from head to foot! O_O

THEN, AT NIGHT, we went to the Suan-Lum Night Bazaar!

There were so many pretty things on sale!

On the last day, we spent the daytime at

where we paid 30 baht each to sit under some beach chairs under giant umbrellas and have people walk around trying to sell things to us. People were selling EVERYTHING ok! From sunglasses to mango salad to towels to henna tattoos (!) to massages to BEDSHEETS to coconut shell lamps to wooden elephant heads!

This girl came around selling grilled sotong with a portable stove! So cool! Haha she even posed for my camera :P

I walked around the beach taking pics of random stuff like

a yacht that was parked near the shore (should’ve gone up nearer to get a better pic :/)

and an engineering project happening on the beach!

LOL I saw a group of 4 adults surrounding the kid and the castle later and it looked like they were having a meeting/discussion about the architecture of the (sand) building. :D hahahaahaha

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND that’s about the pics I have for this entry lah. Will probably put up more when I get my film from my Fisheye2 scanned/processed – another 3 rolls there, joy! Haha I hope they came out oklah *crosses fingers*

This is the last pic I will leave you with – it is one of my favourites :)

(Salt and pepper shakers at the Suan-Lum Night Bazaar)

PS. I think I misjudged the size of the pics slightly – WordPress seems to be cutting off the right edges of the pics slightly. Grr. BTW I love my camera. :D (No, it’s not a dSLR :P)

578: Guess who’s back!

Back from Bangkok! :D

(Pics up soon – for real!)

577: Snippets of an unsound mind

Bangkok here I come! :D

Will be in Bangkok from the 24th to the 27th! Whee!

—

Our lectures will be held in Audi A…

I miss LT 2… :( Sigh. First they take away the old chairs. Then they chase us out of the LT altogether.

:(

*sigh*

—

… and you will make it through, because I know – doubtlessly – that you are strong enough. :)

—

Sitting in front of my XPS, earphones on, Shootin’ Star by Broken Scar on iTunes.

Surprisingly, there isn’t much to think about.

Feeling so much – thinking so little.

Haha, Kaevo tells me I should start to try to express myself harder before I begin to fail to be able to express myself at all.

So. What do I feel?

I feel – vulnerable. Some songs have that effect on you (me, whoever). This is the beauty of being alone, I’m hiding in this song and there isn’t anybody else.

HAHA. Beremo-emo sangat. -_-

—

I sit under the clouds with Placebo in the background – “Where is my mind? Where is my mind?” – and I turn to the flower that you left me. I think about the time when the thunderstorm almost destroyed the flower, I think about my panic. I think about the times I packed to leave – only to come back. I laugh and shake my head at the past.

I wipe the dirt off my pants and say goodbye. We will still have the clouds.

—

Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
‘Cos theres nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

I remember the night I sat up crying on my bed in the night, the night before your birthday. The indignation and helplessness at not being able to give you the birthday I thought you so rightly deserved.

Such a long time ago.

I remember the ice-cream in 7-11. I remember the laughing and knowing looks. I remember the jealousy and anger and frustration. I remember asking why.

There was no answer.

If I could tear you from the ceiling
I know the best have tried
I’d fill your every breath with meaning
And find the place we both could hide

It was ugly. Denial – Anger – Bargaining – Depression – Acceptance. DABDA – that’s how I remember it. Funny, remembering this just because of you.

I’m in the basement, you’re in the sky
I’m in the basement baby, drop on by

Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again

You had no idea – or perhaps you do – it doesn’t matter now. This is how horribly cliched it is: Being around you makes me smile – involuntarily.

Before our innocence was lost,
You were always one of those,
Blessed with lucky sevens,
And the voice that made me cry.

It’s a song to say goodbye.

—

揭开了伤口会复原，心痛够了就不再痛。

谢谢你明白我的痛，我寂寞了很久。

5 years in an independent school and this is all I can do. HAHA what the. I’m a chinese banana. LOL.

—

The title of this entry – it sounds like something you would write – this is the closest I’ve ever come to penetrating your mind. Bitter laugh. Is this how it feels to be you? No. I don’t think anybody knows what it’s like to be you. I never really saw, I never really understood. I am sorry.

You are a story for another day -

This is enough for now.

576: When you become somebody you don’t want to be

I don’t want to mute what I’m feeling, don’t want to have to watch what I say, don’t want to see the world in a duller shade than it actually is in. Don’t want to only blog about happy-clappy superficial stuff. Don’t want to have to ignore my emoness because it is ‘improper and childish’ and because people are freaked out by displays of undiluted emotional outbursts. Don’t want to pretend. Don’t want to have to realise that there are more important things than how I feel and sometimes I don’t get what I want, most of the time I don’t get anything at all.

So is this goodbye?, 6th January 2008

In the midst of playing with my stethoscope and squinting at that thickened intraventricular septum on the echo machine – I let the “don’t want”s turn into “already have”s.

I now deal in logic and cold, hard facts (emphasis on the “cold”). Emotions? Warm, fluffy, sappy things. Not my language. Not anymore.

I am as surprised as you are – I never really believed that it was possible.

I guess the most shocking thing is that I don’t really give a damn.

(I am blogging about this because this is what I would have normally done)

I cross my fingers and hope that this is just a phase.

I’d rather be without a defense mechanism.

—

Chuzzle?

I cannot believe myself.

Chuzzle?

Seriously.

This might be worse than I thought.

—

Of all my kaki lang who are far away from me I love Kaevo the most. LoL.

Haha okla ‘cos he knows what to say and we keep in contact the most. *ahem at certain people who are currently back in Malaysia for the Easter break*

Sigh I know stupid Kaevo won’t be reading this ‘cos he is stuck in a crappy hostel with stupid crappy net. LoL but KAEVO I WISH YOU WERE BACK IN MALAYSIA AGAIN! I MISS YOU! Sniff.

—

Why do I want to become a doctor?

What if it is because I really want to help people who are in need and alleviate suffering?

Since when did the correct answer turn out to be the wrong one?

What’s all this (expected and cliched) joking about Oscars (or any award of equivalent value) being given out to students who give answers similiar to the one above in med school interviews?

Who are you to scoff at our genuine desire to want to help? A “boring” answer doesn’t make it a wrong one. Maybe it’s boring because it’s true – many people repeat the same thing because they really mean it and not because “it’s the ‘right’ answer”.

Why are you in med school? If your reason differs from the above, maybe you should reconsider wearing that white coat and putting that stethoscope around your neck.

575: OMGGGGGGGGGGGG

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OMG. WordPress as usual is being stupid and not letting me put any videos BUT HERE IS THE LINK.

WATCH 0:43 TO 0:48!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAA OMG. THE BOTH OF YOU THINK I WILL NEVER WATCH THE VIDEO WAN ISSIT?!?!??! HAHAHAHAHAHA OMGGGGGGGGG.

(okla the both of you don’t sound bad la hahahahah OMG.)

Hahahahahaahahah OMGOMGOMG. Terkejut aku cukup-cukup. Suddenly see both your faces there hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha omg.

Walao they all damn geng, how did they manage to beg/persuade/bribe you to do it?! Hahaha shit I wish I was there then you could have my maniacal laughter in the background. LOL.

*runs off to spread the word XD XD XD*

(hint: the two people involved were also in the orientation video I made a few months ago. HAHA.)

*dies laughing*

HAHA! LOLOLOLOLOLOMG.

574: <3 Dr James Evan Wilson~! :D

*swoon*

Hahahahahah!!! :D :D :D

(the link brings you to an interview with Robert Sean Leonard, who is incredibly sweet and unassuming and funny and all that :D – seriously! Go read!!!)

*scuttles off to rewatch more episodes of House*

573: Of lomocams and oncology

I have developed my first roll of film for my Fisheye2! :D :D :D

I am very pleasantly surprised because I opened the camera when I discovered that I had put the film in wrongly XD XD XD I expected the whole roll of film to be exposed but now WE ALL KNOW THAT ONLY THE PORTION OF THE FILM EXPOSED TO THE LIGHT WILL BE OVEREXPOSED. :D

Other than that I think I still need practice la. LoL. A lot of the pics were spoilt ‘cos apparently (from what I see) I didn’t wind the film fully to the next frame.

The person who was in charge of scanning my pics from the film to the CD was like “Er, the ones with multiple exposures want to develop ah?” and I was like “Yes yes!” and he was like “How come can have multiple exposures wan?” and we had this short interesting conversation about my fisheye and then he asked me whether I was going into SLRs and I said “I want to… but digital la… dSLRs! :D” and then he was like “Yeah digital is better!”

Ok I shall not bore you with the details of that conversation. Apparently the Sony Alpha100 isn’t that good and the Canon EOS350D is quite a good camera for beginners! Anyway. It was quite fun lah!

He also asked me if I upload my pics to the net (Oooh! Somebody who knows things!) and said that this was a very good effort for my first roll of film – to which I exclaimed “HAH?!” very disbelievingly. -_-

ANYWAY WHATEVER LA OK. HERE ARE THREE PICS WHICH I DON’T MIND SHOWING YOU BECAUSE THEY CAME OUT QUITE ALRIGHT. XD (Complete with lame captions! Whee! :D)

This is the view from my balcony! Look at the crazy squiggly lines made by the car lights! Ooh I must’ve unknowingly prolonged exposure time! :D (My hands must’ve also been shaking since the lines are squiggly and all.. HAHA -_-)

This is part of my mom’s display cabinet. My head was one of the exhibits. XD Haha no la. BEHOLD THE MULTIPLE EXPOSURE BUTTON! :D :D

My cousin, me and Petrof (who hasn’t gone for his “operation” yet -_-). I suppose this is what you would see if you were drunk. Pfft. Haha multiple exposure experiment went wrong… -_-

There was something else I wanted to blog about but I forgot what it was. So. Nevermind lah. :D

OH YES. I AM NOW GOING TO WATCH DEAD POETS’ SOCIETY NOW. BECAUSE OF ROBERT SEAN LEONARD. <3

(to the less informed – I am currently obsessing over Dr James Evan Wilson. SERIOUSLY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH XD XD XD)

Ok stop. Byebye.

572: The one in which I fizzle out in the middle.

Dr TCardiologistW is currently limping around the hospital ala House! XD The poor soul. He was complaining about not being able to “enjoy” anymore ‘cos of his gout and all… *shakes head* XD

(Apparently he took full advantage of being sponsored at a Singaporean conference and had his share of giant crabs XD)

Man. I miss going on rounds with him. :(

I learnt a lot from him lor! He is like so geng! He can just glance at multiple ECGs for less than 5 seconds and know exactly what’s wrong (or not). But of course la, he’s like a cardiologist la so it’s expected of him…

—

whatever la. i no mood liao. everything is stupid.

571: Blue skies

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I…

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

- Fix You, Coldplay

(Photo taken by me, with some help from Photoshop)

Lots of things going through my head now – I am not even going to try to qualify them. Organized chaos, innit what they’re calling it?

Let me be. One gentle nudge in any direction and all equilibrium will be lost.

570: “Good morning, my name is Michelle and I am a…”

“… second year medical student.”

I should probably be blogging about more medical student-y stuff like the rest of the medical student population overseas – walao I tell you people 2nd year only already taking blood and setting drips and cannulas okay! They’re getting like full access to hospital wards and all and they’re practically on permanent attachment!!!!

Yer. Jealous. :(

Anyway I just spent the last 11 minutes lying on my bed and auscultating (english: listening to heart/lung/bowel sounds with a stethoscope) myself. I have never heard bowel sounds so extensively before! It’s rather scary actually, I keep expecting to feel pain or something judging on the magnitude/character of what I heard.. LOL.

This, people, is how bored I am. -_-

Okla I should stop writing about my auscultatory efforts because obviously nobody is interested and there isn’t anything really cool about listening to your intestines and stomach in action. Heh.

I WANT TO GO TO CLINICAL SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS. I auscultated my laptop speakers (hahahaha I know. -_-) and really got difference wan lo between bell and diaphragm! -_-