Bangkok here I come! :D

Will be in Bangkok from the 24th to the 27th! Whee!

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Our lectures will be held in Audi A…

I miss LT 2… :( Sigh. First they take away the old chairs. Then they chase us out of the LT altogether.

:(

*sigh*

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… and you will make it through, because I know – doubtlessly – that you are strong enough. :)

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Sitting in front of my XPS, earphones on, Shootin’ Star by Broken Scar on iTunes.

Surprisingly, there isn’t much to think about.

Feeling so much – thinking so little.

Haha, Kaevo tells me I should start to try to express myself harder before I begin to fail to be able to express myself at all.

So. What do I feel?

I feel – vulnerable. Some songs have that effect on you (me, whoever). This is the beauty of being alone, I’m hiding in this song and there isn’t anybody else.

HAHA. Beremo-emo sangat. -_-

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I sit under the clouds with Placebo in the background – “Where is my mind? Where is my mind?” – and I turn to the flower that you left me. I think about the time when the thunderstorm almost destroyed the flower, I think about my panic. I think about the times I packed to leave – only to come back. I laugh and shake my head at the past.

I wipe the dirt off my pants and say goodbye. We will still have the clouds.

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Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
‘Cos theres nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

I remember the night I sat up crying on my bed in the night, the night before your birthday. The indignation and helplessness at not being able to give you the birthday I thought you so rightly deserved.

Such a long time ago.

I remember the ice-cream in 7-11. I remember the laughing and knowing looks. I remember the jealousy and anger and frustration. I remember asking why.

There was no answer.

If I could tear you from the ceiling
I know the best have tried
I’d fill your every breath with meaning
And find the place we both could hide

It was ugly. Denial – Anger – Bargaining – Depression – Acceptance. DABDA – that’s how I remember it. Funny, remembering this just because of you.

I’m in the basement, you’re in the sky
I’m in the basement baby, drop on by

Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again

You had no idea – or perhaps you do – it doesn’t matter now. This is how horribly cliched it is: Being around you makes me smile – involuntarily.

Before our innocence was lost,
You were always one of those,
Blessed with lucky sevens,
And the voice that made me cry.

It’s a song to say goodbye.

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揭开了伤口会复原，心痛够了就不再痛。

谢谢你明白我的痛，我寂寞了很久。

5 years in an independent school and this is all I can do. HAHA what the. I’m a chinese banana. LOL.

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The title of this entry – it sounds like something you would write – this is the closest I’ve ever come to penetrating your mind. Bitter laugh. Is this how it feels to be you? No. I don’t think anybody knows what it’s like to be you. I never really saw, I never really understood. I am sorry.

You are a story for another day -

This is enough for now.